Have you noticed that the older you get…. the less you care about shit?
Don’t get me wrong – I care a helluva lot about my family, my friends and building a business (amongst other things). But the things I used to stress about in my teens and into my twenties? Couldn’t care less, really.
Example – I recently went off the birth control pill and over the past few months have been experiencing crazy acne breakouts due to hormonal imbalance. I’ve never dealt with skin issues like this, and even though I hate it, I know it’ll sort itself out after a trip to a naturopath and a few life changes. Now had I been 16-year-old Lauren or even 20-year-old Lauren with this problem? I would never have left the house. I would have been so insanely paranoid that everyone was looking at me and talking about me and thinking I was some sort of mutant. And even though at bloody 31-years-old it’s annoying AF, I’m not going to let my skin stop me from going out and living it up. I can’t put my life on hold for something so silly especially when no one else actually gives a crap about my skin.
Which led me to reflect on all the other silly stuff we waste time caring about. So much energy is spent on trying to please other people or fit into a certain mold. So if you want to make sure you’re out there living your best life possible, here are fifteen things that you’ve just gotta stop giving a shit about.
1 What anyone thinks about you. We all waste sooooo much time and energy on this. Sure it’s totally important for you to check yourself if your family and tight friends say you’re acting shady. But if you’re worried about strangers or frenemies talking shit about you and your life choices? Pffff, bye Felicia. Ignore the haters and just do you.
2 How much money your friends are making. This one is especially tough if you’re starting your own business or taking a gap year after school or even if you’re working in an industry that you love but aren’t racking up the dollah-dollah-bills. Understand that your worth isn’t based on how much money you make and that people take different paths in life that lead them to different types of happiness. Focus on your own path instead of comparing your beginning to someone else’s middle.
3 Cellulite. This one’s for the ladies. I know it’s hard to ignore, but seriously, everyone has it (maybe not Gisele, but there’s only one of her and billions of us). Somewhere down the road, it became a weird beauty standard to NOT have cellulite and all of us started freaking out about it. I know ladies who are full-figured and have cellulite, and I know women who are a size 00 and have it. It’s totally fine to dislike it, but don’t let it stop you from wearing a bathing suit with confidence, rockin’ shorts all summer long or gettin’ it on with your new crush.
4 The life choices of others. If a dude wants to marry a dude or your neighbour wants to practice their faith in their own home or a colleague wants to go through a gender transition, that’s their choice. If it’s not affecting you directly, it’s none of yo’ business, so you shouldn’t even be wasting time thinking about it or voicing your opinion through Facebook memes (the exception being anyone wanting to vote for Donald Trump – my American friends, you simply cannot let that happen).
5 Wrinkles. It’s a life fact that we all get older. Our skin loses elasticity, we get fine lines and shit starts to droop. But that doesn’t mean you should spend hours in front of the mirror analyzing your face at 35 compared to what it looked like at 25. You can’t stop the aging process – all you can do is make sure you’re taking care of your body. Otherwise, just let nature do its thang.
6 What your exes are up to. You’re broken up – who cares what they’re doing? Constantly lurking their social media channels is only going to lead you to fall upon some hurtful shit of them living their newly single (or newly attached) lives. Quit them cold turkey and move on.
7 What a celebrity ate for breakfast. Or just celebrities in general. I’ll admit, I check in on what Bey’s up to on Insta or what Kylie’s sayin’ on Snapchat. But the moment I pick up those gossip mags and see ‘They’re just like us!’ with someone pumping their gas or eating a bagel, I’m done.
8 Finding your soul mate. Be your own soulmate. Even though I adore Damien and love our relationship, I also really enjoyed the time that I was single. People have the tendency to look at being single as just another word for ‘unattached’ and ‘without a partner’, but why the hell do you need a partner? You came into this world on your own and you can rock this world on your own.
9 Instagram likes. Or followers or whatever. Social media should never be used to validate who you are and what you have to offer.
10 Being productive all the time. Actually, it’s necessary to take a day off. Get in the habit of taking a morning, afternoon or whole day to yourself where you focus on nothing other than doing, well, nothing. And if that means taking a sicky from work, so be it. Consider it a day for well-being. Lounge on the couch for a Netflix binge, stay in bed all day reading a book or head to the spa for some pampering. And above all, don’t give one single ounce of a goddamn about anything else.
11 Making everyone happy. No matter how hard you try to please everyone, it’ll never happen. You can’t control other peoples’ feelings or reactions, so just focus on what makes you happy.
12 Missing out on parties or events. This is tough, especially in your twenties, but if you don’t say no to some things, you’re going to burn yourself out. And maybe it’s my 33-year-old self speaking here, but if I’m missing out on a party or big event, I get FOMO for like, five minutes, and then I continue on with my night. Because you know what the best feeling is? Waking up on a Saturday morning with no hangover, no regrets and a truckload of energy to have a kickass day.
13 Dieting on vacation. Girl, what is even the point? The whole purpose of a holiday is to enjoy yourself, and that means spending your days feasting on local food and drinks. A week of eating whatever dafuq you want is not gonna kill you. Plus, the thought of leaving Italy without eating pizza, gelato or pasta? Bye.
14 Or dieting in general, for that mattter! A diet is often super restrictive, and when you break those restrictions, you’ll likely feel bad about yourself. Instead of taking on some crazy fad diet, be realistic – switch out those nasty food habits for healthier options, but don’t hate on yourself for sharing a bottle of wine with a friend or treating yourself to ice cream on a Sunday. Moderation is key.
15 Being someone you’re not. It’s the oldest piece of advice in the book, but it’s true – just be yourself. Quirks, oddities and all. Because that’s you. And all you should be focusing on is being the most badass version of yourself possible. Surround yourself with people that love the ‘you’ that you love, people that you can be comfortable with and who bring out your best qualities. It’s always better to be a first-rate version of yourself than a second-rate version of someone else.
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Love this whole post. I was going to comment on the points I liked the most but literally loved them all girl. SLAY. Also, love the slang in this post lmao. “dafuq” and everything else.
If I had to comment on any point it would be Finding Your Soul Mate. I feel you, so much. For me, I don’t think having a partner is the way to happiness. I think I can be equally as happy single or in a relationship. They’re just different kinds of happiness. I don’t anyone to complete me. I don’t need to have a family. So amen, I CAN rock the world on my own but YES I do love BAE. *high five*
Haha -I write it like I see it, babe! 🙂
The whole single vs. attached thing is crazy. I’ve loved both times in my life, and yeah, if my relationship ended tomorrow I’d be devastated and take time to mourn it, but I also know I’d survive and move on. And that single shouldn’t be seen as an opposite to ‘in a relationship’…. it’s just a different type of relationship (one you have with yourself!).
I LOVE THIS. Amazing. All of it <3
Thanks Ashley! Always good to have a reminder sometimes 🙂
Lauren! I’ve just spent the last hour perusing your site and I absolutely love it! It’s totally gorgeous and so well written. I also live in Toronto, which is exciting because i’ve been so keen to find other local bloggers. Definitely will be coming back 🙂
Thanks so much, Beverley!! It seriously means a lot and I’m stoked that you enjoyed reading all my past posts. Also…. just checked out your blog…. DAMN GIRL!!!! You are serious #fitnessgoals. The new design looks amazing btw!
I absolutely heart this list! Makes you reframe and truly reflect on the fact that you can improve your quality of life just by realigning your thinking.
While half the globe obsesses about those obtuse Kardashians or the latest health craze, I’m going to take your advice and tell the stupid little things to piss off. Not gonna follow the masses. Gonna go it my own way. Renegade style.
I can’t put into words how much I love this post! It was just what I needed to read today!
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Yes yes yes to all of this! I have such a bad habit of being productive all the time, I really, really need to learn to slow down and take a break. But so much of the things on this list I’ve only realised in the last year as I edge closer to being mid-twenties and it’s so damn liberating.